Days Four and Five

The weekend was hard.

Being around people, the fucking Super Bowl, and the cooking and junk consumption nearly drove me mad because I missed it all.

“But there is nothing eaten today, that can’t be consumed by me tomorrow.”

It’s a silly mantra, but one that I must repeat on occasion so that I know that I’m not missing anything. That’s my problem you see, I feel like I’m missing something if I don’t eat everything I want. It’s stupid, mad, but it is how I feel and worse, how I think.

My sister cooked something today that smelled wonderful and permeated our apartment. I was frozen to my bed, afraid to get up and be fully surrounded in the scent. Afraid to give myself access to food of any kind, even the stuff that I can have. I entertained myself, still in my room, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I was so much better after I finally ate, but I know I will never fast on a Sunday again!


~ by wastedlife40 on February 7, 2010.

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The Obama Diary

President Barack Obama ... photos, videos & a word or two

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