Day Two


Well, I didn’t do much today. I couldn’t get comfortable last night and had been trying to get back to sleep since 3:30am. It feels like all of my nerve endings are dancing. It not uncomfortable, but it’s just that I feel jittery and trying to be still, to feel calm, is difficult. So after receiving a rather exhilarating call (no, you don’t need to know from whom), I decided to watch TIVO and just keep as still as I could. I needed to control not only my body, but my mind which was in chaos wanting desperately to find something to eat. It was exhausting trying to constantly redirect my thinking to something other than butter and bacon! I managed to do it, but it is just depressing realizing how much my mind concentrates on food.

How did I manage to ever think of anything else?

By 7pm I was out of the bed and feeling a lot more in control. My head was clear (the obsessing was down to a minimum although that new Olive Garden commercial was killing me!) and I was up going through my books (those who know me, know how important that is) and making my beverages for tomorrow.

I feel lighter. My mind is a bit clearer and the triggers are coming, if slowly, under control.

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~ by wastedlife40 on February 4, 2010.

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